Phyllis Diller

Cat or Osama?


T-Wide Heaven



Read the compelling evidence, then decide.....

DRAMATIC NEW UPDATE: On May 1, 2011 the U.S. Government announced that they finally found and killed Osama. But does this put an end to our theory? Not necessarily. Has Cat been seen in public, performed any concerts, or released any new material since then? STAY TUNED.

  • Cat turned to Islam and disappeared from public life in the late 1970s. The world first started hearing about Osama in the early 1980s.

  • Cat recorded a song named "Peace Train". Osama has launched terrorist attacks using cars, boats, and airplanes, but generally doesn't use trains.

  • Cat sang "Into White" and Osama always wears a white towel around his head.

  • Cat's album "Numbers" includes the song "Banapple Gas". U.S. intelligence reports have suggested that the Al Qaeda Terrorist Network was attempting to develop Banapple Gas for use as a weapon of mass destruction.

  • Cat's first album "Matthew & Son" includes a song entitled "I'm Gonna Get Me A Gun". Osama at one time had several Afghani caves full of guns.

  • Look at the picture above. Both of them go to the same barber!

  • Cat used to record on the A & M label. Osama is always talking about Allah and Mohammed.

  • Cat recorded a song called "Where Do The Children Play" and if you've ever noticed, you never see any children playing in any video footage featuring Osama.

  • Cat's "Teaser & The Firecat" album include, in order, the popular songs "Tuesday's Dead" and "Morning Has Broken". On Tuesday, September 11, 2001 Osama "broke" our morning and killed an otherwise perfectly good Tuesday.

  • Look at the picture above. Both of them order their turbans from the same bath towel manufacturer in Hong Kong.

  • Cat's 1972 album "Catch Bull At Four" included the hit "Sitting". For years, Osama has been doing quite a lot of sitting—usually on his ass on a rock in a cave.

  • Cat's first single was the 1971 hit "Wild World" and since we've known of Osama, the world has, at times, been pretty wild.