How Well Do You Know Me?

OK, folks, get out a pencil and paper (this, because I'm too lazy to take an entire day to automate it by writing a CGI program) and take the Pat Garrett quiz. When done, click the link at the bottom to see the answers.

1. Which of the following is something that I have never done?

A) Emceed a belching contest on a 100KW FM radio station

B) Driven members of Hank Williams, Jr.'s band to a recording studio

C) Spent six days living on a billboard

D) Spent evening at a bar dancing with women while wearing a bear suit

2. Favorite TV Shows 1: I love all of the following EXCEPT:

A) Beverly Hillbillies, I Love Lucy, Seinfeld

B) Star Trek, Next Generation, Voyager

C) Laverne & Shirley, Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi

D) Monk, NUM3ERS, Columbo

3. Famous People: Which group have I NOT met?

A) Robert Plant, Kenny Rogers, Hank Williams, Jr.

B) Chuck Berry, Brian Wilson, Mike Love

C) Ron Francis, Mike Kryzezewski, Mean Joe Greene

D) Rick Springfield, Rick Nelson, Willie Nelson

4. What did my parents do for a living?

A) Father worked for N&W Railroad, mother was nurse

B) Father was a telephone man, mother worked in hospital accounting department

C) Father was outlaw, mother was a saloon girl

D) Both were unemployed and I lived in a box until I was 9

5. Claims to Fame, Part 1: Which of the following is true?

A) I was once on the TV news for attempting to jump the Roanoke River in a Port-O-John

B) I used to work with the real Adrian Cronauer, of "Good Morning, Viet Nam" fame

C) My Uncle Cecil went to school with Wayne Newton

D) I once interviewed the comedian Gallagher at a McDonald's

6. Collections, Part 1: Which of the following do I not collect?

A) Beatles memorabilia

B) U.S. stamps and coins

C) NHL hockey jerseys

D) Star Wars action figures

7. What happened when I was a baby?

A) I met President Eisenhower (yes, I'm that old)

B) After 4 years, my father got out of the Army

C) I caught pneumonia and almost died

D) I cried every time Elvis was on the radio

8. While in college, I was a member of which of the following national honor societies?

A) Tau Beta Pi and Golden Key

B) Tappa Keg and I Phelta Thi

C) Upsilon Pi Eta, Lamda Pi Eta, and Phi Kappa Phi

D) Both A and C

9. I hold which of the following college degrees?

A) B.S. in Computer Science

B) A.S. in Business Administration

C) B.A. in Communication

D) All of the above

10. Claims to Fame, Part 2: Which is true?

A) My son was the first person ever to pee on the floor of the RBC Center

B) I was the narrator of multimedia training used in several hundred hospitals

C) Phyllis Diller once told me that my jokes weren't very funny

D) All of the above.

11. I have lived where (in order)?

A) Roanoke VA, Asheville, Garner, Cary

B) Roanoke, Wilmington NC, Raleigh, Garner, Cary

C) Roanoke, Myrtle Beach, Wilmington, Winston-Salem, Cary

D) Roanoke, Myrtle Beach, Wilmington, Asheville, Raleigh, Cary, Garner, Cary

12. Collections, Part 2: Which of the following do I not collect?

A) Old radios

B) Political buttons

C) Hurricanes hockey pucks

D) NASA space mission patches

13. Another hobby is reading...which is NOT one of my favorite topics?

A) Novels by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

B) Novels by Stephen King

C) Biographies of people in show business or sports

D) Anything about astrophysics or the space program

14. How did I meet my wife?

A) A mutual friend arranged a blind date and I spilled a beer in her lap

B) Met her in Asheville at a bar while talking about James Taylor

C) She was a radio groupie who showed up at a remote because she wanted a T-shirt

D) She lived in the same apartment complex

15. Famous People Part 2: Which group have I NOT met?

A) Wolfman Jack, Waylon Jennings, Col. Harlan Sanders

B) Pat Paulsen, Barbi Benton, George "Goober" Lindsay

C) Sam The Sham, Suzi Quatro, Emmylou Harris

D) Bon Jovi, Alex Trebek, Danny Thomas

16. How did I get my big break and land my first-ever show on a Top 40 radio station?

A) I was the winner of a high-school radio announcer contest.

B) I earned my FCC license at age 17, and this impressed a local station manager.

C) I was the only person available when the regular DJ was hurt playing ball.

D) My Uncle Frank was the general manager of one of the stations in Roanoke.

17. Which of the following is NOT one of my hobbies?

A) Playing Golf

B) Making homemade beer

C) Being a die-hard hockey and Carolina Hurricanes fan

D) Woodworking

18. Favorite TV Shows 2: I love all of the following EXCEPT:

A) Cooking Shows

B) Documentaries on The History Channel

C) Reality TV shows

D) "True" Detective Shows, e.g. "The Forensic Files"

19. Sports: Which is NOT a favorite?

A) NHL Hockey

B) NBA Basketball

C) NFL Football

D) ACC College Basketball

20. I have an interesting talent. What is it?

A) I always score in the 99.9th percentile on "box folding" tests.

B) I always win prizes when playing Whack-A-Mole.

C) Name any baseball player since 1950 and I can tell you his batting average.

D) I can tell any make/model of car by the sound of its engine running.